It's different being afraid when there's the hope it will amount to something.

A good amount of time has passed since my last entry. My head has been nowhere near the rest of my body. It's raining now which is calming. I can listen to this forever. I wish the sound of rain outside was white noise when it's quiet for the rest of my life...and then some. Since I moved back to Orinda in July, I've been sleeping on a couch. I thought I would be alright with it for however long i would be living here (6 months...maybe more), but it's starting to not be comfortable anymore. I can't remember the last night I slept all the way till morning without waking up. I'll fix this soon.

Tomorrow morning, I'm going to watch Killing Them Softly.



Awesome cast. Great director. I'm excited. I recently got a ticket to see Sigur Ros in April. Supposedly, this tour will have a lot more musicians in accompaniment and will be a one of a kind tour...we'll see. They are spectacular live regardless, but with all this said, I really am looking forward to it now. Buying a ticket also came with a free EP so that works. Tomorrow morning I also plan on getting a ticket to see Quicksand in SF in two months. I love that band and since they are broken up (no word on a new record...just a mini-tour) I can't miss this. I saw them once before they split when they were touring with Deftones back in 1998 I believe.





Watching Mad Men. I'm all caught up on the shows I enjoy (Walking Dead, Breaking Bad, Sons of Anarchy, Game of Thrones, The League, and Boardwalk Empire) Falling asleep while these shows are on in the background is really relaxing and redirects my rapid-fire thoughts. As long as it's an episode I've seen, it's like hanging out in a room with friends talking softly. I'm listening and my brain is as well, but I'm not thinking about anything that they are saying; just hearing them speak...make sense? Didn't think so. Recently, this is the only way I get any sleep. Speaking of which...